My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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