party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
