Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
