she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
