Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
