oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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