are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
