wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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