just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
