SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
