I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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