So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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