Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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