it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
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I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
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Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I want to fling myself into the sun
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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