dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
