Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
