I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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