I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
organizing the empties. That sober.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
