oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
