Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
