By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
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I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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