whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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