Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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