I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
