My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
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she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
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Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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