sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
