i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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