Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
