thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
