Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
