Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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