hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
