i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
