I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
