he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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