Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
