You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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