By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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