...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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