she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
