i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
