Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
