My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
