hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Fuck appropriateness.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
