Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
So I just went to clothing optional bar
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
