I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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