you win again, gameday.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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