Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
