Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
