One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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