My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize