I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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