On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
