I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
