You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
