I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
