When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
