It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
