I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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