4 words: hood of his car
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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