so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
