I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
My pussy is not your playground.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
