So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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