Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
