Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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