I wish i was in the wii world.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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